The Megan Fox Backlash

When Megan Fox first came on the scene, I'll admit, I was not a fan. I thought, I can't be friends with this girl, she'd definitely steal my boyfriend (yeah I know, but if I had one she would).

Anyway, suddenly all this stuff started to emerge in the press about all the crazy stuff she said, and I started to have a change of heart. I was like, this chic is kinda nutty, and I kinda dig it. We could mos def be bff's, after all. So, just as I'm fantasizing about how Meg and I would go out drinking together and talk weirdo-style (my fave!), I start hearing all these guys hating on her.

A few weeks ago some guy we were hanging out with said that Megan Fox was a stupid, slutty, bitch. Whoa! Hold the cell phone pal. First off, I don't recall Meg Fox promising anyone she was smart. Second, how come she's supposed to hang around half naked making guys think about sex, but act like she's totally oblivious to it? Now, that to me would seem pretty stupid. Obviously, she's gonna talk about the obvious.

And, bitch? C'mon. We all have our bad days. My girlfriend who I was with that night works in film and said that most actors she works with are nightmares. She went on to say it was most likely that either Meg Fox didn't sleep with someone really important, or, she has a terrible publicist. I think both. She probably didn't fuck her publicist.

I'm still with you, girl. For today, anyway. Don't do something really terrible over the weekend. It could start to get difficult to defend you all the time. And, I really wouldn't want it to put a strain on our friendship.

xoxo gigi

Be Seen And Not Heard-And Not Seen Too Much Either

I've been thinking lately about how women who keep quiet about their achievements, or just keep quiet in general, are generally idolized in our society. Its all about being low-key.

Let's start with Penny on Inspector Gadget. Gadget, always the bumbling fool, while Penny, his adorable niece solves all the crimes behind the scenes, never outs her uncle. She teaches young women everywhere to stand behind your man. And, maybe even hide sometimes.

Next up, Meg White. Everyone loves her silence. She doesn't say anything, she just adorably drums away while Jack stands in the spotlight. This makes her "rad".

Clara Bow. Big star in the 20's. Just watch one of her movies. Not a peep comes out of this chic's mouth. Ever. Although, they do add subtitles to let you know she's got some thoughts.

Zoe Deschanel. Yeah, she talks, but it's all monotone, so it's more like white noise.

Barbara Bush. Did she ever say a single word in eight years? Not, that I can recall. And, she is one of the best-loved first ladies of all time.

Henrietta on Mr. Rogers. She was a cat and all she could do was meow-meow. Big hit. Big.

Nell. She just made noises. This was soothing and non-threatening. "Chicawaaaaa, chicawaaaay".

And, of course Melanie vs. Scarlett from "Gone With The Wind". Sure, Scarlett learned in the end, but a little too late. Everything had gone to shit and Rhett was goners. He always told her she'd never be half the woman Melanie was. Melanie died in childbirth enduring to the bitter end with no complaints.

Well, that's all for today. I will now shut the fuck up.

Conversation with My Dog Theo

Me: Theo, am I the greatest owner ever or what?

Theo: You're pretty good.

Me: Pretty good? That's gratitude. Who fed you yesterday?

Theo: You. And, about that. When you run out of dog food, I don't like that whole cereal mixed with a can of tuna thing you do. Just FYI.

Me: But, you ate it right up!

Theo: Well, I'm a dog. I'll eat anything. I'd just prefer something better.

Me: Done! Anything else?

Theo: Well, now that we are on the subject, I am still upset about that time last week when you tied me up outside the deli and forgot about it until you got home.

Me: I had a lot on my mind that day! Plus, I came back didn't I??

Theo: Also, when you come home drunk late and think I want to cuddle... you'd be wrong about that.

Me: Geez. It's like you don't even like me.

Theo: Love you. Just telling you some stuff I need to get off my chest.

Me: So, you're still glad I'm the one who rescued you from that shelter in West Covina, right?

Theo: Absolutely! And, like you always tell me, "I'm the most special because you chose me".

Me: Actually, I didn't. Your deadbeat dad did. I didn't think you had much of a personality. See, while all the other pups were playing, you did nothing but sleep. But, I've come to see this as a blessing since we now live in a small apartment in Brooklyn.

Theo: That's...sweet. Hey, Gigi?

Me: Yeah?

Theo: I'm glad you're my owner. But, I'm also glad you don't have kids yet.

The Future is Now!

If you've never seen the film Logan's Run, the 1976 sci-fi classic, I strongly recommend it. My friend Paris brought over one night a while back and I was immediately struck by how accurately the future as we know it now is portrayed in this movie. The world is dictated by pleasure and the landscape strongly resembles a gigantic Vegas shopping mall. People communicate by typing on little gadgets (texting), and the citizens regularly go in for face and body morphs when they are bored or unhappy with their looks (plastic surgery). You also have computers that bring you lovers (internet porn). It all seems like the perfect world- except the big catch is that everyone is forced into mandatory euthanasia when they hit 30. The protagonist of the film is a "runner". You see, Logan is 29 and tomorrow is his 30th birthday...tum tum tum. Lucky for me, this has not become a part of the future (yet) or I'd be dead meat. Also, notice how in the beginning of this trailer those people floating from above making figures resemble a Cirque De Soleil show. More proof that Vegas and Cirque De Soleil are just trying to distract us from our impending decay and inevitable death. Never did like or trust those Cirque De Soliel shows....


I remember...

Subway tokens

When Soho was desolate

Thinking Mayor Ed Koch was super-cool, especially after that claymation video of him came out

Graffiti on the subways

Going to the Limelight in the 1900's (before it was a rundown sample sale space)

My dad making me close my eyes when drove along the westside highway cause the tranny hookers only wore lingerie in the streets

When Ave. B was really scary, C was taking big risks...

Going to comedy clubs in the W.Village because they were the only places that served minors

Patricia Field's was like a fantasy land for a high school girl- and Sex and the City was light years away...

All the boys got their hair cut at Astor Place